One thing at a time all the time!

Welcome to Rocteur
Thursday, November 23 2017 @ 10:34 AM CET

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Don't drink and drive!

FunnyOne for the weekend!

I went out with some friends last night and tied one on.
Knowing that I was wasted, I did something that I have never done before.
I took a bus home.
I arrived home safe and warm, which seemed really surprising as I have never driven a bus before.


Thanks Vicki!!!
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Funny Email From an Agent

I received this email this morning and thought it was quite funny ;-)

Dear Jerry

We are currently searching for a JOB TITLE to work in CITY, COUNTRY for DURATION plus extensions. This is a fantastic contract opportunity for a large multi-national client.

The ideal candidate must have the following skills: SHORT JOB DESCRIPTION.

If you are interested in this position, please respond within 24 hours with a short motivation letter and your CV in Word format so XXX can contact you.

XXX do have a policy to fulfill job requests within 24 hours therefore a quick response is important.

Alternatively, you can call us on the number below.

XXX does apologise when this job does not match your profile. However, if you have any colleagues who may be interested in this contract opportunity; please forward this email to them. If they are successfully placed at our client site, we will award you with £150.00 (180 Euros).

Thank you for your time and we hope to hear from you soon,

Regards
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The Smoker, The Alcoholic & The Homosexual

FunnyThree desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options.

One was an Alcoholic, one was a Chain-Smoker, and one was a Homosexual.

The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."

The men left the doctor's office; each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice.

While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar.

The Alcoholic, hearing the loud music and smelling the ale, could not stop himself.

His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey.

No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.

His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realising how seriously they must take the doctor's words.

As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning.

The Homosexual looked at the Chain-Smoker and said, "You know if you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead."

Thanks to Vassilis for this one.
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Help aub de mensen zonder papieren - Aidez les personnes sans papier svp

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Et Les Belges!

Funny

Dans une caserne belge, l'adjudant rassemble les conscrits et hurle:

Les Wallons à gauche et les Flamands à droite!

Un grand remue-ménage s'ensuit.

Quand la poussière est dissipée, l'adjudant constate qu'il reste trois arabes et un noir au milieu de la cour, serrés les uns contre les autres.

L'un d'eux lève le doigt et demande: Et nous, les Belges, où allons-nous ????




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Do you want to know more about Belgium?

This is a video about Belgium which is probably not as funny as it was intended.
Or perhaps it was never intended to be funny.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ceg6NQKHd70&feature=player_embedded

A short animated film about the Belgian political structure.

The text was written by Marcel Sel, a Belgian writer, author of Walen Buiten, a best-seller on the

«Belgian Crisis».

The music was specifically composed by Laurent Aglat for the film, and Emma Dornan's beautiful
voice gave the commentary its magical tone.

The film was directed by Jerome de Gerlache.

blog.marcelsel.com
laurentaglat.com
jeromedegerlache.com

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Pour calmer les irritations d'Elio Di Rupo

Nous pouvons bien en rire, merci Annie
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Carrying Beer on a Motorcycle

 

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New Company Word of the day


New Company Word of the day:
 

FOCUS
 
 
 When you are annoyed with someone tell them to FOCUS  
 
   
F
#*K  Off    Cause U're Stupid
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langage de notaire

Une vieille demoiselle se présente chez un notaire pour enregistrer l'acte d'achat de sa maison récemment acquise.

Le notaire l'invite à s'installer, appelle son clerc, et lui demande textuellement :

Veuillez, s'il vous plaît, ouvrir la chemise de Mademoiselle, examiner son affaire, et si les règles ne s'y opposent pas, faites une décharge pour qu'elle entre en jouissance immédiate !

La vieille fille court toujours ....!!